Sunday, September 4, 2011

My internal Google translator sucks

I come from a house of all girls... expect for one boy: Dad. I used to believe my dad was the king of the male species but I soon discovered that when you're surrounded by estrogen, it tends to wear off on you. I'm not saying my dad is Liberace or Elton John (although I'm sure I've called him Jaredina after painting his nails and doing his hair as a young girl) I'm just saying he's not the type of guy that can dress up in camo and go shoot elk for dinner. With only having my dad around I usually don't have to be too careful about what I say.

Moving in with a family that consists of two boys ages 20 and 28.... It's been an adventure...

First story:
Jonas the eldest was trying to teach me how to do the samba (I will never attempt to do it again!). I was trying to show Gaby(my lovely room mate from Mexico) how to do a Polynesian dance move I happened to pick up from some girls from Utah. It's called 'spacing' (all you do is pretty much shake what ya mama gave you as you move your hands from left to right and right to left--simplified description). Jonas looked at us for a split second and then started singing "Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!" from Jesus Christ superstar while moving his hands in front of him. I will never dance in front of them again, next he'll be singing single ladies as I try to cha cha!

Second story:
I was sitting in the living room looking at an Italian Vogue magazine as the other members of the family were on the computer or doing whatever they felt like. I came to a page with huge writing and decided to try my pronunciation... so I said, "Hey Bruno! Scusa, ma tu hai voglia di fare l'amore con me?" he looked at me with a puzzled face and walked over to me and looked at the page of the magazine. He busted up laughing and nearly killed over. He turned to Gaby and started running off in Italian with her and she started laughing too. "Gaby! What did I say?" she couldn't even get it out. half an hour later and they're all in fits of tears they finally tell me what I said....
"Hey Bruno, Sorry, but you want to make love to me." I didn't believe them so I checked Google translator and yup....


Third Story:
We were all sitting around the dinner table enjoying some latte (milk) and American cookies courtesy of my mom. Bruno and Jonas had both finished their milk so I turned to them and said, "Drink my milk." I realized what I had said too late. They starred at me for a split second and then started laughing so hard, milk started coming out of their noses.


Last Story:
Bruno has a girlfriend Brennda and I was trying to come up with their celebrity couple nickname and I turned to Jonas and said, "Hey Bruno and Brennda... It's Brunda!" He laughed his head off and then told me that in Italian Brunda means butt.

So to sum it all up. I think my dad was being nice and just ignored me when ever I said something bad. At least he doesn't have to hear me do it in Italian as well.... I'm lost in translation and my internal Google translator doesn't have a filter.

1 comment:

  1. I think this is the story!!! BUT.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Ofa Atu
    TaaTaa ♥/hunter!

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